My Chi Gong teacher has given me a small book with the later teachings of Lao Tzu, as a kind of "homework for spiritual development". This is the kind of homework I don't mind at all :-) The quote below has a special appeal to me, because it reminds me of all the times I wondered how to 'do' AT on my own and whether I 'lost' my Alexander skills.

To be aware of being with the Integral One is like watching the reflection of the moon on the surface of a still lake. Actually, the moon is not in the lake, yet people speak of it so. If, by chance, clouds appear and cover the moon, people say that is has departed from the lake, yet is has actually gone nowhere.

The relationship between the universal soul and the individual soul is just like the relationship between the moon and the lake. Spiritual security is always present, but the clouds of the mind create the phenomena of apparent separation. The true nature of the universe is always self-existent, never failing to respond to an individual's straight and direct awareness.

If an individual is aware enough, he realizes that the Integral One does not come only at the time of awareness. When one's mind is disturbed or confused, the Integral One seems to disappear, yet one's true nature has not departed. One creates the darkness which covers the light that is always available to freely support one's soul.

Today was a day to remember in Alexander terms. I've had two lessons, one from my current teacher, and one from my first teacher. Boy, was I in for a treat :-)

First lesson went pretty OK, we focussed on my shoulder, which is still giving me trouble. After a long table turn, I felt much more in place, although I didn't really have the feeling that I was the one who brought this about. That's not a problem as long as I'm in the lesson, but it does make it slightly more difficult to maintain things when I'm back home.

After this, I went on to my very first AT teacher who, after a break of almost two years, has started teaching again. Since we hadn't seen each other for almost a year, I spent part of the afternoon and a good deal of the evening there, talking about what happened Alexander-wise and otherwise.

The lesson itself was pretty much amazing; it's perhaps even better now that I have some material for comparison. What strikes me:
-The consistency of D's language. Even after such a long time, I could immediately tune in to his descriptions of essential AT concepts. Or rather, MacDonald's descriptions of these concepts, sometimes even literally. Some may view this as copying, but I see it as a treasure: here's someone who managed to stay as close to the source as possible.
-The large amount of very clear explanation that D. gives. And his refusal to use images or metaphors ("AT is something that you should do inherenty. If you sit behind your computer, and have to think of corks plopping out of your head, that is only an extra burden. It is not going to help")
-The refusal to compromise. D. does not teach AT as a feel-good session, but as a skill, not only the skill of letting go, but also the skill of taking responsibility for your own actions, and your own well-being.
-During D's lessons, there usually comes a point where I get extremely confused, and can't tell what's up, down, good, bad, black or white anymore. These are usually the moments when something new can happen. They feel extremely uncomfortable, and it takes a skilled teacher to guide a pupil through such a moment. Amazing things have happened after such moments.

Some loose jottings that come to mind:
"Shoulders are part of the back. They have a natural tendency to fall back into place"
" It is a misconception that the opposite of proper upward direction is chaos. Downward directions are just as well organized as upward ones. That is why it is so hard to recognise and break with your old habits. They don't feel wrong."
"Do not try to physically help your directions by moving your head forward and up. Instead, think in trends and tendencies" .
"Forward is the mechanism to unlock your head and allowing it to move up".
"When moving your arm, try to think out and round. Don't think that there's an elastic band between your ribs and your arm that pulls your arm back."

Fun, fun and double fun!

For a teacher to impart his wisdom to others is purely a realization of his virtue. A student should not try to disturb his teacher with emotional or material entanglements of any kind, because the gross energy of mental, physical, or emotional entanglement severs the subtle spiritual connection with the divine energy.

If a disciple is excessively emotional or if his mind is very rigid, good teachings will be distorted and the teacher's wisdom will not be assimilated. If a teacher must continually work on the student's mental problems, he is prevented from sharing his spiritual treasure with the student.

The student should not insist that the teacher solve his problems or do the inner work that is an essential aspect of one's own cultivation. Instead, the student should eliminate all obastacles and make himself an empty vessel to receive the light of One Great Life from his teacher.

There's an interesting discussion about furniture going on on the AT-list. The argument basically runs like this: one group believes that furniture can help or hinder good use, the other group believes that someone with enough AT experience can maintain proper use in any situation, regardless of which kind of furniture is available.

I tend to side with the first group. I mean, if all chairs are equal, why do all Alexander teachers use similar types of simple wooden chairs?

At work, I sit most of the time, and I find that a 'comfortable' chair does not help me very much in a psychological way. It is just to seductive to lean back and slump. Even if I really tell myself "OK Maaike, today, you're really going to watch your use, no matter what", it will only take 10 minutes before I fall back into my old habits.

One major cause (apart from my own lack of discipline or awareness) is that I work with a computer. Computers are nasty things, not only ergonomically, but also psychologically/ energy-wise. They 'suck me in': I can easily spent hours behind the screen and not even notice the time passing, let alone notice my head being pulled into the screen. After such a stretch of computer work, I am completely drained mentally and my back is stiff and contracted.

AT and Chi Gong have started my awareness in this area, but I still feel I need all the help I can get, also furniture-wise. That's why I have a simple wooden stool for computer work back home (which I try to avoid), and have asked my manager for a plain chair and adjusted desk.