AT strategy (2)

Inhibit the habit to mentally beat myself up about pain, misuse, confusion, the state of the world in general
One of the downsides of AT is that it offers perfectionists like me a wonderful stick to hit themselves with (like I needed another one...). Unreliable sensory awareness, the opposite of wrong is wrong...when you're not in high spirits in the first place, it's quite easy to slip into some kind of gloomy, "see, I'm wrong again, there's even an official theory about it, I won't ever get it, and even if I do, I won't know it, because I don't know when I'm right" state.

So, when I do end up in a situation of physical pain or emotional discomfort, the first thing I try to stop, is the start of the blame-game. Instead of noticing pain and feeling irritated about it, annoyed by it, or guilty because I must have done something wrong, I just try to register the situation as it is, which is simply "I feel a nagging sensation at the back of my shoulder, and it is starting to physically hurt". I try not to judge. I try not to be hard on myself. I try not to distance the part of my body or mind or soul that's hurting from the rest of me. Although it may sound terribly simple on paper, this part of my strategy probably took me the longest to learn.

Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes, I'm just what I am. Not everything happens in a logical or rational way. Which is not the same as accepting the situation and leaving it at that.

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